First things first, this post is going to be written without any bells and whistles. I’m going to be uncut-raw if you will in my authenticity. I am a young mom. I am a veteran mom. As of late, I am an overwhelmed mom. As of February 2018, I am a mom of 2.
Before I had our second daughter, you could say I got overwhelmed at times. You could say there were times when I just needed a moment to myself. You could say my house was a mess more often than not, being that I was sharing a space with a toddler and was exhausted and sick for most of my second pregnancy. You could say that and you’d be right.
Currently, you could say that…and more-so. Having 2 girls means that when my husband is away, I am outnumbered. I must choose which child needs my attention the most at that particular moment. I also have to choose to take a deep breath when my toddler is screaming because she didn’t get her way. I have to choose to pray that God would give me grace for her and patience so that I can respond in a way that would glorify Him.
I recently went back to work and for the four days leading up to that first day back, things in our household were a bit…chaotic. My loving husband installed a new dishwasher in our kitchen with the help of a servant-hearted friend. All of the countertops had to be raised to make room for said dishwasher. These three countertops along with several cabinet drawers occupied our living room. This particular Friday night, I had to leave our house to spend a few hours at my mother-in-law’s so as not to disturb our girls’ sleep with the sounds of power tools and sawdust-filled air. I was outnumbered again and my eldest made it to bed an hour and a half past her usual bedtime so that I could attend to the needs of our infant.
The next few days were spent getting items ready for daycare for our newborn. Specifically labeled bottles, extra changes of clothing, a pacifier, wipes, diapers, formula, diaper cream, and a few things our eldest was running out of in the toddler room. Add to that, a large stack of intake paperwork, and you had one frazzled mama. This mama!
Before going to bed Sunday night, I mentally ran off a list of things I should do to be as prepared as possible for work/daycare the next day. I had each of the girls’ outfits picked out. I had chosen my outfit. I placed all of the necessary daycare supplies near the front door. I set my alarm to go off an hour earlier than usual. I prayed for peace and repeated one of my favorite verses to myself: “Be still and know that I am God.” (Simple, right? ;)) By the way, that’s found in Psalm 46:10. I had to look up where it was found on Bible Gateway; thought you should know in case you think I am a scripture memory ninja, which I am not.
Well, with the help of my Heavenly Father and my husband, the next few days went by pretty smoothly for our family, despite my whirlwind thoughts of wondering how I was going to handle it all. By the time Thursday rolled around, I started to relax more. The girls had a few days at daycare without a hitch and the next day was Friday, which always helps!
I would be lying if I said I had no concerns or worries about caring for 2 children versus one. They went something like this: What if Taya (eldest) feels like we don’t love her as much as we used to? What if she becomes really jealous and feels like I spend no time with her anymore? What if I can’t do it-be a mom to two?
Looking back, these questions seem silly, but they are legitimate thoughts I can almost guarantee you other young mothers have asked themselves. To those of you who are awaiting baby number 2, I want to encourage your trembling heart and mind.
I can tell you that it will be hard, but I can also tell you that you will make it, because you are stronger than you know…and well, because you have to. 😉 I can tell you that you will feel overwhelmed, but I can also tell you that holding two in your arms is such a precious gift. I can tell you that you will need to reach out to others for help and encouragement-the Lord, your husband, a few close friends, etc.
I can tell you that more often than not, you are going to feel like a “hot mess mama.” I’m not referring to “hot” to mean attractive either! What I’m talking about is that it’s going to be tempting to compare yourself to other moms who look like they “have it all together.” There will be times when you feel like you have to “do it all” and if you struggle with perfectionism like myself, to do it all to the very best of your ability…always.
I want to encourage you and challenge you to “…seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…” (Matthew 6:33). I have been challenged myself lately to look to Jesus first and foremost to fill me up when I am empty versus that cup of coffee, scrolling through social media, or watching my favorite Netflix show. Is it hard and totally against my first instinct? YES. YES….YES it is! Is it worth it when I do? You better believe it. There is something about immersing yourself in truth that sets you free-free from comparison, free from the lies the enemy likes to wrap around our thoughts about our worth as a woman/wife/mother, and free from feeling overwhelmed.
Instead, be overwhelmed by the Father’s love for you. Be overwhelmed in knowing that while the challenges of motherhood are hard, you are blessed to know them.
I will sign off with a few encouraging resources I have utilized recently:
-Pressing “play” on my Holy Bible App. so that I can fold laundry and listen to a narrator read scripture to me
-Risen Motherhood Podcast
-Focus on the Family parenting podcast
-Ellie Holcomb Pandora Radio Station
I hope a few of these may be of some encouragement to you as well. 🙂
Over and out,